Nothing To Like

So, I promised you all a story about me and my Supposedly Ex-Comms Provider (SECP).

On Monday morning, I was languishing in bed with the dreaded lurgy, listening to Colin and Edith on the Radio, when my mobile phone (or cellphone) rang. It said "Private Number" which never bodes well. I was expecting that it was going to be work, and that I'd have an awkward discussion about being ill and not quite well enough to go into the office to sit around and do fuck all.

But no, it was a woman from SECP, who said, "You've got a bill for [amount] outstanding against your account. Would you like to pay it now by credit card?"

I forget exactly how much of this I've documented in the past, but basically, the bill covers a period after the point at which I should've been disconnected. So I'd cancelled the direct debit for the bill and as a result it hadn't been paid automatically. I'd also (quite rightly, in my simple and humble opinion) refused to pay it since it was for services I didn't want.

I told the woman that I was not interested in paying it. In no uncertain terms.

Now, that in itself was just another instance of the corporate fuckwittage I'm come to expect from SECP. But no, the story did not end there.

When I finally dragged my sorry arse out of bed and went downstairs to get the post (or mail), there were a bundle of letters, but two in particular stood out, on the basis that they both had the look of being from SECP.

One was a letter stating that my service had been suspended due to non-payment of the same bill that I'd been phoned up about. It also mentioned that this fact had been passed on to a credit agency and may have an affect on my credit rating. Terrific.

The other was another bill. Not a reminder for the bill mentioned above, but the actual bill that followed on. So now, in their eyes, I owe them for two months worth of television service that I didn't want.

I got very stressed about all this. I felt hounded and harassed. Cunts.

So later (as I was making lunch, as it happened), I phoned the number on the letter which put me through to the collections department. And there, talking to some innocent customer service muppet who probably had done nothing to deserve it, I lost it. The word 'fucking' slipped into the conversation at some point. The guy wanted to transfer me to another department but I was having none of it. I've been transferred all the way round that company before now and I was sick of it.

Then, I had lunch, and calmed down a bit.

Later on I phoned the local Trading Standards Office. I ranted and the guy on the other end of the phone listened in what seemed to me to be a bored and impatient kinda way. Anyway, he gave me the name of someone in SECP to write to directly. I sent the letter that afternoon recorded delivery, and I now know that it has been delivered. So hopefully I will get some results. Possibly.

And so there you have it. There's also the fact that this morning I received four letters acknowledging two of the "queries" I have raised with them. These two queries would both have been earlier versions of this self-same issue. It says I should get a response within 30 days. Woo-fucking-hoo.

And I just know that when I do finally get all of this sorted out, they'll end up disconnecting my cable internet (which, for the time being, I have decided to keep) when they cut off the TV and Phone.

Fuckers.