Wanked-Up Car Convention

Alison and I just walked up to our local, a nice combined pub and restaurant on the bank of the Avon. The walk up there takes us along one of the main roads into Warwick, and during the total time we spent walking along this stretch of main road, there and back, we saw three majorly wanked-up vehicles.

By wanked-up, I mean decked out for boy-racers. Spoilers, lights in the radiator grille, rally lights, the whole works. And when I say spoilers, I really do me spoilers. Fucking great whale-fin on the back, and the front spoiler dropping so close to the road that an ant would probably have difficulty crawling underneath it. Obviously there was also the extra runners or whatever they're called down the sides that join the front spoiler in creating the illusion that the car was in fact extruded from the road and is still touching it.

The first car we saw done up like this was your typical sporty boy-racer coup�. Fair enough. Barely raised an eyebrow at it.

Moments later, a Mini (and an old Mini at that) went past, similarly done up. This was impressive in itself, as Minis, particularly the old ones, are so inherently cool that it's very difficult to wank one up to look like a boy-racer toy. Whoever had gone to work on this Mini had succeeded.

On the walk home, the car we saw really took the biscuit. It had spoilers. It had lights in the radiator-grille. It had rally-lights. In the place of the stupidly low slung spoilers, however, it had flourescent blue strip-lights mounted on the underside of the chassis shining down onto the road. We are talking the ultimate in wanked-up-edness here. And the worst part? The worst part was that strictly speaking it wasn't a car done up like this at all. It was a people carrier. A Galaxy or a Sharan or something like that. Quite possibly the most bizarre vehicle I have ever seen.

Then again, it can't be long before someone sees a wanked-up Smart.