Consoling myself

I'm well aware that I haven't updated this weekend. This is partly because I haven't had the chance, and partly because some of the things in my head haven't been things I've wanted or needed to share with everyone.

We'll start with the important news of the weekend, since all but 2 (I think) of my readers will be wanting to know why the hell I've made my diary green. I got an XBox this weekend, having been umming and ahhing over the choice between an XBox and PS2 for some time. More to the point, I got a Limited Edition XBox Green. Hence the slight change of colour scheme (yes, I am a sad bastard - people who are surprised by this are not paying attention). As a result I've been playing a bit of Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball, and a bit of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I've also been playing GTA3 on my brother's PS2, but that is neither here nor there. XBV is a hilarious perv-fest - cheesy and shallow but at the end of the day, a good laugh too. Buffy is a bit like Tomb Raider, except it's Buffy. And the best thing about it is when you manage to get in the lucky strike by running up to a Vampire and staking them straight away. The worst thing about it right now is that I've got up to a bit that I have to start off every time fighting Spike, and Spike is a bit of toughnut. A few top secret US Government Scientists and some experimental bio-technology would be handy at this point.

The astute will notice that I mentioned my brother's PS2 in there somewhere. We did indeed visit my brother and his fianc�e this weekend. Yesterday they were doing their wedding list in Debenhams in Luton, and looking at wedding rings. The idea was that yesterday he and I would also sort out the suits for me and him, the Dads, and the Ushers. We didn't quite get that far. That happened today, in Milton Keynes of all places.

His fianc�e did choose her Wedding Ring yesterday, and then later kept waving it around and showing it to us. I did keep trying to explain to her that she wasn't meant to wear it yet but I don't think she got it.

Other than that, the visit was pretty much just Buffy on XBox and GTA3 on PS2. I'm a little put out to find that the GTA games aren't available for the XBox but I'll get over it.

Tomorrow night I'm staying in the North, and hence will be working there tomorrow and Tuesday. Not entirely looking forward to it, given my feelings on returning from there last week, but I think it will help me get into the job a bit better. Things weren't exactly helped last week by having a thoroughly unproductive day on Friday where technology and my mood conspired against me.

I had a long chat to Anne on Friday night about the uncertainty I was feeling, and then vice versa. Given the changes we're both dealing with, we've been having a lot of long discussions lately. And that really is why I haven't wanted to update. The discussions have been far too personal (in some ways), and as a result so have my thoughts and feelings (in some ways). I don't really want to get to grips with trying to explain what that means, because it would take far too long, and probably be disappointingly dull for the majority of readers. In a nutshell, I've discussed issues with her to a far deeper level than I am prepared to discuss them on here, and as a result anything I wrote on here would feel like covering old ground to me - hence you're left with this paragraph and the previous one as scratch-the-surface type tidbits. I'm not sure that makes things any clearer, but it will have to do.